Acidic fucking thoughts.

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Wed, 15 May 2013 23:33:39 -0400

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Wed, 15 May 2013 23:31:40 -0400

I remember this day.

Wed, 15 May 2013 23:17:23 -0400

I remember this day.

fuck fucking bastard pants bullshit

Sat, 04 May 2013 01:16:26 -0400

Everything feels like a waste. This past year? A waste. Everything said and done? A lie. My happiness? A joke. Everything hurts and I kind of want to just stab everything insight. Everything I recall was fake, or at least it seems so. I give it my all and this is what I get? Thanks, very much. It makes me wish I can take everything back, because even when I think something is as real as it can get, I’m terribly wrong. Have fun with your fucking life.

Heavy.

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 01:08:25 -0400

I’ve been putting aside my problems for too long. My whole life basically, and I’ve never learned how to fix this. The older I get the more things seem to deteriorate. And lately, I’ve been blinding myself. Relying on a backbone that wasn’t even mine. My heart is too heavy, my head is just, lost. I’ve sunk down to a low point, but that doesn’t mean I’m lost forever. I need to find myself. You affected my emotions far too long, for me to realize that I was the actual problem.

Maybe, we were the problem.

‘I love you’ isn’t enough anymore.

I hope I can find you again, but as for now I’m gone for a different direction.

Its done.

Totally wry, and worried.

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 22:10:01 -0400

Ah, I try to detain myself from the inevitable case of jealousy, worrisome, and wry. It doesn’t always work as much as I try. I suppose I can say its only because I care an awful lot about you. Sometimes I feel like you’re my whole livelihood, though you are not. Sometimes I’d like to think of the unthinkable future, as if existed. But I cannot do such a thing. To get my hopes up and wish? Wouldn’t that be completely foolish of me? I’m smarter than that, and I know it. I don’t live in the past, nor the future. And as much as my odd minded self keeps living, I’ll still be in the same place I’ve always been.

Post weekend blogging.

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 02:35:16 -0400

It’s Sunday night. Almost morning actually, but its daylights saving’s time which seems like a poor excuse to be some sort of observance. I did absolutely nothing with my weekend besides homework. Though I did watch two 80’s highschool movies, Pretty in Pink, and The Joy of Sex. The joy of sex was oddly too sexual (HAH, there’s a such thing as too sexual for me?), and not too entertaining. Pretty in Pink was cute, and the guys in the movie were pretty attractive. I did a lot of thinking about a bunch of cutesy, sexual, and sentimental thoughts about the one I call my love. I really have no idea why, I guess I’m just thankful. I suppose almost 10 months brings that effect to you. I cannot wait till my stepmom leaves to the Philippines on Friday and I have 3 weeks of being home alone on certain times of the day. Oh I I’m going to love that. I apologize the lack of writing posts and dull weekend post. My writing mind has simply tried to hide itself. I wonder why.

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Wed, 20 Feb 2013 03:14:44 -0500

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Wed, 20 Feb 2013 03:14:18 -0500

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Wed, 20 Feb 2013 03:13:29 -0500

"Write a post in ten minutes. Don't think. Just go"

Wed, 13 Feb 2013 22:23:36 -0500

*Sets timer to 10 minutes. This lag on my computer is pissing me off.*

Laying in bed. Here goes my thoughts 10 minutes? What thoughts can become of this? The weather is cold. Hace frio in Spanish. Tomorrow is Valentines day, and I’m telling myself to not give a shit because “I’m not observing valentine’s this year” Or at least we’re not according to my boyfriend. It’s just a normal day, and I don’t need a specific day to tell him I love him. I do it everyday. Maybe, its because he has tennis, and he’s not willing to ditch. Something that seems somewhat rare is that I’ve been listening to a bunch of rap today. But it’s the good kind of rap, the type with a message? Music with a message. I like those kinds of things. My mind seems pretty simple at this point. What else is there to say? Pursuit of happiness by Kid Cudi came up on pandora. I love that song, hm. Remember how the first amendment or some kind of document like that mentions “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?” Well that’s what it made me think of. I seriously can’t wait for next week. School may be pretty, lets say easy but i’m just so tired of it I want to get out. Plus I get a whole week off next week. I think that week is going to consist of a whole lot of .. uh. nevermind. Best I don’t say so. Ha. Perhaps, I’ll photograph over this break? I guess so. Somehow this made me think of my mom, who promised she’d come here this month but I doubt she will. That’s my mother.. many I guess you can say broken promises but I cant blame her. she’s busy, and I still love her. I haven’t seen her since Nov. I only see her a few times a year sadly. Hm. I’m pretty tired. My brain is getting… eh lets say.. mushy. I don’t have an actual adjective for it. So i’m gonna say mushy.

STOP.

Well, that was 10 minutes.

Ohhh pick me. Pick me! Haha. This is my writing blog and a lot of the posts are on the personal side so they come straight from my mind. Hope you enjoy! Oh, and if you like any of my posts please show support by liking, reblogging, and/or following! (: Happy tumblring!

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 23:08:07 -0500

Hi! I checked out your writing blog.. Nice! I like how they’re personal and interesting. Wellps, Have a nice day! :)

You ignorant fools, oblivious bastards Do you ever stop to notice me? not my grades, but my actual...

Fri, 08 Feb 2013 19:02:05 -0500

You ignorant fools, oblivious bastards

Do you ever stop to notice me?

not my grades, but my actual well-being

Surely, it seems as if you do not care.

I wouldn’t be surprised.

depression, sorrow, sometimes seem to succumb me,

though you do not notice.

Strangers in a place where I should feel at home,

in my own home.

You fools!

Thinking you know whats best for me,

though it seems like you caused everything to be worse.

I can never impress you,

I get good grades, and I do as much good as I can get.

Inside me, I feel empty.

You neglect me, or so it feels.

Self centered, you are.

Disregarding me, as always.

I do not feel loved here.

I never did, and I never will.

Sincerely,

your daughter.

My hair is monstrous.

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 18:26:15 -0500

My hair is monstrous.

Its all in the mind

Sun, 03 Feb 2013 16:03:00 -0500

Lost in a sea of thoughts,

Drowning fast, falling so rapidly

Air is losing itself inside of me

Water, falling over me,

splashing over and over

as I slowly lose conscience.

Brown and bloodshot eyes snap open,

screeches of panic, cries of pain

head spinning so fast

looking above me.

My mind is an endless wasteland,

running for miles and miles

running forever,

the thoughts never stop, never succumb

Where am I?

Am I lost?

Clouds of white surround me,

I feel them, as I see them

tastes of pure snow.

I breathe as if I know where I am,

letting out a sigh

I realize,

Its all in the mind.

"So therefore I dedicate myself, to my art, my sleep, my dreams, my labors, my suffrances, my..."

Sun, 03 Feb 2013 13:22:44 -0500

“So therefore I dedicate myself, to my art, my sleep, my dreams, my labors, my suffrances, my loneliness, my unique madness, my endless absorption and hunger because I cannot dedicate myself to any fellow being.”

- Jack Kerouac (via madalinediane)

Explain why you write. (Writing-prompt-of-the-day- January 9, 2013)

Thu, 10 Jan 2013 00:49:56 -0500

I could never tell the story of how I actually came to like writing, and somewhere along the line thought of it as a hobby of mine. Like unexplained things, it kind’ve just happened. There wasn’t any sudden epiphany that made me realize something new, and nor did I consider that I was even the slightest bit good at it. But the way I look at is, anyone can be good at writing. Literally anyone, it really doesn’t take any certain skill, or any title of literary merit.

I love reading, when I was younger, and I still do. I loved the way words can lace up scenes in my head which in turn leads to a story. I thought it was amazing, which made me want to make stories of my own. When I was younger, I made little stories which I wrote down in journals. And now that I think back at it, those stories were really lame and cheesy. In the 8th grade, I typed up a journal and wrote in it everyday, which gave me the sense of being able to put those thoughts and actions of the day onto something, so that I could look back on it someday. (And 3 years later, I actually still write in that journal, though less frequently) As a sophomore now, I’ve realized how much I’ve actually came to liking writing so much. And I’ve definitely been able to improve on it over the years.

Its turned into something I actually want to do in my future.. Whatever the hell that may be.

The so-called goals which I may or may not achieve.

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 22:19:59 -0500

I haven’t really written any thing on this blog since last year, since It’s 2013 now, I might as well set some goals for myself.. Be that as it may, there’s no telling on whether or not I’ll actually be able to achieve these goals. I’ll take it as it goes.

Productivity: I want to spend more time doing things that are ‘productive’, such as writing, photography, going on adventures (adventures.. I’ll consider it productive), school, exercising, learning a new hobby, or whatever. The goal is to spend less time watching tv, mindlessly surfing the internet, or sleeping too much, now that I realize that I’m getting older and I feel like I’m still wasting my life away.
Balance: In addition to being productive, I want to be able to balance the things in life I find important: school, and social life, i.e work and pleasure. I’m trying my best to maintain good grades, yet still have fun with friends, and etc. Also, good grades means more freedom, and more allowance. I’ve been doing it so far. It’s a win-win.
Write more. Take more pictures: As you’ve noticed.. I like writing. I like photography (This is more of a new-found thing), And I want to do more of it. The only reason why I don’t do it as much as I want to is because I don’t have the time, writer’s block, or any of that nonsense. I’ll try to make time.
Keep the good in, and the bad out: This feels like a branch out of balance for me. Basically, keeping whats good for me in my life; focusing on school, the support system of friends and select family members, things that cause me actual happiness, etc.. and keeping out all the shit that messes me up and causes me pain; people who I find immensely irritating, drama, other problems. I’ll keep it simple. I find it easier that way.

Oh shit, how many weeks has it been?

Thu, 03 Jan 2013 21:27:17 -0500

I made this poem for a project and recited it at school today.. I almost choked. Snap-plause

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 20:08:03 -0500

Ode to the lovely Violeta Peralta

Raindrops fall on a hopeless soul

Drenching her with sorrow

Worry is a heavy burden on her heart

Her love hasn’t returned home

He’s behind bars, captured by the evil men

Military eyes follow her every move.

The feeling of paranoia envelops her.

“Have you seen my husband, Pedro?”

Everywhere she went she carried these words on her lips.

The passionate pain of her longing

An absence of a man whom she may never see again

No one left to house her loneliness

All caused by a man whose intentions were ever so bitter.

As tears fell, an everlasting search begun

Hopelessness, and uncertainty murders a soul,

More than being aware of his death.

Alas, the agony is inescapable

Thoughts of her husband, inevitable in her mind,

Eating away her innermost thoughts.

Past her fear, loneliness, uncertainty

Fighting in her own war among others

Sang a song,

Danced a dance.

Intertwined in her melodies was a message of resistance.

Her love as deep as the sea

Shall be written on a gravestone, as permanent as ever

Never be forgotten, always remembered, and always celebrated.

An inspiration to all,

Oh dear Violeta, such a remarkable woman you are!

Acidic fucking thoughts.

Photo

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I remember this day.

fuck fucking bastard pants bullshit

Heavy.

Totally wry, and worried.

Post weekend blogging.

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Photo

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"Write a post in ten minutes. Don't think. Just go"

Ohhh pick me. Pick me! Haha. This is my writing blog and a lot of the posts are on the personal side so they come straight from my mind. Hope you enjoy! Oh, and if you like any of my posts please show support by liking, reblogging, and/or following! (: Happy tumblring!

You ignorant fools, oblivious bastards Do you ever stop to notice me? not my grades, but my actual...

My hair is monstrous.

Its all in the mind

"So therefore I dedicate myself, to my art, my sleep, my dreams, my labors, my suffrances, my..."

Explain why you write. (Writing-prompt-of-the-day- January 9, 2013)

The so-called goals which I may or may not achieve.

Oh shit, how many weeks has it been?

I made this poem for a project and recited it at school today.. I almost choked. *Snap-plause*

I made this poem for a project and recited it at school today.. I almost choked. Snap-plause